Forgive me, Oprah, for I have sinned.

Poor Lance. Should I cue the violins now?

I watched Lance Armstrong deliver his carefully crafted confession to the great omnipotent Oprah Winfrey last night and I was struck by a thought:

I don’t care.

I don’t care if he used performance-enhancing drugs. I really don’t. We know most of the competitors in the Tour de France were doping. Basically, it was the All Drug Bike Race. And that’s OK with me. You want to fill your body with a cocktail of chemicals that will likely give you all sorts of health problems? Fill yer boots.*

I don’t care.

Here’s what pisses me off about Lance Armstrong.

He’s a bully. And an ass. And his confession to Oprah does nothing to change that.

Year after year, he lied and lied and lied again. He threatened friends and foes alike, and filed lawsuits against those who dared to speak the truth.

Even worse, he betrayed those who trusted him. Despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, some people continued to take him at his word. When you put your faith in a liar, you’re forever changed.

In last night’s interview, he denied coercing or bullying his teammates into taking drugs. It was such a bold-faced lie, delivered in the same robotic tone as the rest of his comments, that it was astonishing. Based on everything he said about winning at all costs and everything his teammates have said about him, it’s obvious to anyone with a brain in their head that he ruled his team with an iron fist. What he said was law. Dope as I say or bike away.

Lance’s well-maintained façade has fallen but his arrogance and self-delusion live on.

Lie to everyone and then confess to Oprah?

Spare me.

Please…spare us all.

 

*(Personally, I think it’s pretty stupid to be doing steriods after you’ve just finished battling prostate cancer. Seriously, dude, you only have ONE testical left and you want to put steriods into your body?!)