Across North America, a miniscule group of individuals are wreaking havoc at public schools, thanks to their handwringing, sign-making, meeting disruptions, and letter writing. School boards are now having to spend their time talking about banning books, pride flags, and imaginary litter boxes in school bathrooms. As an educator with many years of experience, let me fill you in on a little secret: Pride flags are NOT hurting your child. Library books are NOT hurting your child. Gender-neutral bathrooms are NOT hurting your child. Protesting these things takes attention away from actual, real issues of concern in schools right now.
This is not to say parents should not advocate for their children and their schools. PULEEZE! Educators everywhere would love it if you could bring your POSITIVE energy into the system. Adults working together, rather than pulling people apart is how children thrive in their schools. Do not allow a tiny group of individuals with an agenda dictate how schools should be run.
If you REALLY want to write an email of protest or make a sign and march around in front of a government building, here are some things you could (and probably should) worry about.
1. Underfunding – Do you know if your child has access to modern and up-to-date materials and technology? If your kid is in an older school building, does it have poor air quality or mold? Those things WILL hurt your child. You may want to ask when your kid’s school was last checked for environmental hazards. Schools in well-off neighbourhoods generally have more perks (better playgrounds, better tech) than those in low-income areas. Why? One reason is because those parent advisory councils (PTAs) are able to fundraise more money from the school community. Fair? Not really. True? Yes.
2. Illiteracy – Between 20 – 60 percent of school kids can’t read at a basic level by the end of grade 3. How’s your kid doing? Can they write in a way others understand? Are they able to carry on a proper conversation with their peers or adults? Or do they just mumble and then go back to their phone? Kids who leave school with low literacy skills have fewer opportunities than those who graduate with higher skills. Don’t allow your child’s future to be limited. Make sure your kid is being taught to read and write and speak and listen using evidence-based research methods. If you want your kid to succeed, perhaps that ought to be where you are spending your advocacy energy.
3. Bullying – Bullying happens in schools. It did when I was a kid, and it does now. The difference now is that kids come out of their mamas holding an iPad or iPhone. Now that mean girl or boy can insult you and the whole school knows about it in real time thanks to social media. Kids can become the school outcast in the time it takes one kid to hit send. Is your kid being bullied? Or is your kid a bully? You might want to find out.
4. Pornography – I could cry laughing in frustration when I hear about parents trying to ban books in school libraries. You’re afraid a BOOK is going to corrupt your child? Wow! Wait until you hear about this thing called the internet and the things your kid can access on there! Seriously. Do you know how hard it is for teachers to get kids to read?! Much less hunt down “naughty books” from the 1960s or “Mona has Two Mommies” from the library? Trust me, if your child is taking their phone to school, that’s all they’re focused on. And the stuff they can see on their phones? Not just every bit of garbage ever created on the web, but also dick pics and breasties of the kid sitting beside them. (I once had a GRADE 8 student put her phone down her shirt and take a picture in the MIDDLE OF ENGLISH CLASS and saw absolutely nothing wrong with it when I asked what the hell she was doing.) Students as young as grade 7 are making their own porn and then releasing it publicly with or without consent from their willing or unwilling partner. Yes, this happens. Yes, even at your kid’s school. Where’s your sign about that?
5. Focus – Video games and social media have been developed using the same protocols for addiction as Vegas slot machines. Teachers, on the other hand, are trying to teach your kid something that is most likely a. new to them, b. probably not particularly interesting and c. perhaps hard for them to understand. Trust me, they aren’t getting that dopamine hit in French class. When you question why your kid is failing math, please do not come for teachers unless you are ready to address the fact that your child likely has the attention span of a goldfish.
6. Drugs – The drugs of today are not the drugs of the 70s and 80s. Kids are using street drugs that could kill them. Drugs laced with fentanyl are available to kids whose brains are still developing. Even cannabis has been shown to harm growing adolescent brains. Before you say, not my kid! I encourage you to talk to your kid. Their life may depend on it.
7. Physical safety – Ask your kid if they feel safe in their classroom. You might be surprised by their answer. Some classes can get chaotic, loud and even dangerous. Educators have been warned/threatened not to touch the children who are hurting people and property due to the fear of the parents of this human tornado filing a lawsuit. So, while little Jimmy smashes his classmates’ school projects, throws the teacher’s phone and breaks the principal’s computer, educators are supposed to “reason” with them. Educators and students are shouting that they are being harmed in schools, but for some reason, no one is listening. So, where are the damn signs about that? Personally, I’d be waaaay more concerned about school safety than I would be about a multi-colored flag going up on the school flagpole for a month. (I’ve told horror stories from my own experience and inevitably someone will say, “They should bring back the strap. That would teach those kids.” What they mean is that schools should strap (aka: beat) OTHER people’s children. Not their child. No, no. Just the bad ones. I shake my head.)
8. Staff burnout – Crapping on educators is practically a North American sport, like hockey or pie-eating. Are there some bad apples who shouldn’t be teaching? Of course. Just like there are bad apples working at Walmart and in your local police force. But it’s hard to stay positive for kids when you’re constantly being told you’re in it for the money and the summers, or that you’re trying to indoctrinate children into becoming gay or trans or cats. First, that’s not how it works. Second, educators are way too tired to try to change your kid’s identity. They just want your kid to do their work, experience academic success, and be nice to others. It’s as simple as that.
9. Mental health – Our schools are not equipped to handle the every-growing number of kids who are suffering from diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illness. The pandemic not only exacerbated this fact, but also brought it to the surface. Kids who are vulnerable are more susceptible to human trafficking (yes, it happens in schools) and gang recruitment, as well as suicidal ideation and self-harm. Don’t even get me start on racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and ableism. Unfortunately, due to the cacophony of hateful rhetoric out there right now, we are moving backwards in terms of inclusivity. Please see Item #3 – Bullying, above, and then multiply it by 1,000. Also, the educators in your kid’s school are probably NOT ok. If they are teaching your child, you want them to be in top form. Be nice.
10. This is a fill-in-the blank for your kid. Ask them how things are going and if anything is bothering them. I can almost 100% guarantee that their answer will NOT be,
“Gee golly, Mommy. I’m so scared of that Pride flag and those gender-neutral bathrooms, and those scary library books, and those non-existent litter boxes in my school bathroom for those kids who think they are cats. Help me, Mommy! Please make a sign and scream Bible verses at elected officials.”
I could probably list a dozen more things that you could put on a sign and march around shouting about it at the next school meeting. But I think these make the point.
Gender-neutral bathrooms are NOT going to hurt your child. An angry student with a gun or a knife? Dangerous.
Children identifying by different pronouns or names than the ones they were given when they were born? NOT dangerous. Internet porn that your daughter’s boyfriend bullies her into making? Dangerous.
Library books or movies where kids hear about happy, loving people of different genders and sexual identities? Not dangerous. Spending all your time online in an incel chat room? Super dangerous– for everyone!
Folks, if you want to be outraged about something and throw all of your energy into it, please choose one of the topics above. Your kid and your kid’s school will appreciate it.
Dr. SPT 